It was bound to happen, ’twas inevitable really. I knew at some point, I would cross paths with my Captain’s ex and yesterday was that day. We live in a small, rural town. The main reason most folks move here is to retire, unless of course they are like me and grew up here. Back to my case and point.
I was in need of some retail therapy and on a mission for new panties to surprise Captain with. As I entered one of our few chain retail stores, at first I couldn’t be certain that the woman I was seeing was really the person I dreaded running into. I became pretty certain after a couple of unintentional pass-byes throughout the store.
I decided this wasn’t worth losing my precious time or wasting energy over. I was on a hunt for my new, pretty, lacy, girly undergarments and couldn’t be bothered by this woman. As I went about my business, finding five new pairs of exactly what I set out to, I got in line. The store was very quiet with maybe five other shoppers, including her. As I headed to the registers, I took another glimpse of this person, still trying to confirm in my own mind if this truly was the female I thought.
I had only met her once, over two years ago. Clearly she did not make much of an impression. Let me just say, yesterday, she looked older, more plain than I recall, you know, worn and a little heavier, shorter hair and solemn. Captain had shared with me once that, “she is more than jealous of you”. I remember thinking, how sad for her to have such low sense of self and how unattractive that must be to a beautiful man like him.
Traditionally, I suppose I may sound like a jealous lady of the ex, but honestly that is not the case. I know too much about her blatant disrespect and full case of no confidence in the man who I am privileged to call Captain today. I witnessed his pain and agony when we first met, yet felt so blessed by him gracing my life.
Some time ago, this woman had the nerve to call me in a desperate state. So often the case with her drama filled world. I will never forget the verbal attacks she made on this man she was supposed to love. Obviously mate guarding was a concept that escaped her. I chalked it up to one last attempt on her part to destroy another piece of his soul, through me. How was that going to work?
As I stood there, patiently waiting in line, I could only imagine that curiosity got the best of her as she approached quietly and took her place in line directly behind me. That’s right, a good place for her to be. I had just come from the gym and was still in my form-fitting little black shorts and bright, coral tank top that reveals my tattoos and enhances my tan. So, needless to say, I was feeling pretty good about her position and view.
I started thinking, “Lord, help me from being so petty and acting like such a freakin’ girl”, but there I was, behaving like a human I was instantly forgiven. It didn’t quite end there when the clerk called me over to her line, the woman behind me actually followed. By this point, I had yet to turn to look at the face that continued to bewilder me. Honestly I didn’t really want to know. Why should it matter? I took a glance as I saw her get behind me, once again, still not 100% sure.
By now I told myself, just let it go, get on with your mission and go about your business. God has this set up for whatever reason and it could possibly have nothing to do with me. More will be revealed kept rolling around in my brain. My girl brain struck once more as I was a little more than thrilled that my purchase she was witnessing were pretty, sexy panties.
I graciously thanked the clerk and went on my merry way. As I placed my bag into the car, I ran into a friend and we chatted just long enough for the mystery lookalike, most likely the ex, to come out of the store. My friend and I said our goodbyes, I climbed into the car and as I drove down the first row, I saw the woman in question in a fairly, newer car than I thought I remembered. Again, I didn’t make eye contact, but a subtle glimpse confirmed she was staring at me as I drove on by in what she knows to be the Captain’s car.
Somehow, this brief, oddly set up exchange between us of, me checking her out and her doing the same, left me feeling more at peace than ever. As I drove off, I no longer had the seething feeling of disgust I used to feel at the mere thought of this woman who tossed away the most amazing man. I have been so blessed to watch my Captain swallow the huge red pill and change over the years into this amazing, stern leader. He has truly become the Alpha male that was always deep inside his soul, but was never allowed to surface.
I know God had removed this toxic, harmful female from his life and presented him to me as an offering and a blessing. It is how He shows me that He is working in my life. I gave Him praise and privately thanked this woman for sabotaging her relationship and walking away from the best thing that ever happened to me.