this little girl’s heart of gratitude…

if i were suddenly gone…

 memory

i didn’t see her at first as she walked into the post office. i closed my box, taking my key out and turned to see her face. Immediately, tears sprang to her eyes as a sudden jolt of pain coursed through her hollow heart. Without hesitation i walked straight towards this long time friend of mine, arms open wide for her to collapse for the moment. The only words to form my lips were “i love you, i’m so sorry”.  

She was on autopilot, then repeated them back to me, “I love you too” as a gentle sob emerged from her chest. In an instant i felt her pain and agony over losing her husband in a tragic, freak accident just months earlier. This was no coincidence to see one another, because it is a very rare occurence for our paths to cross. No, God knew exactly what she needed and He made that Divine appointment in her honor, possibly mine as well. This little girl is no stranger to sudden loss.

as i write my thoughts down whether here on my personal, semi-private (from my real life) blog, or my endless journals that are found in different bags, cupboards and tables throughout my home, along with my laptop filled with word docs, i think, “if The Good Lord took me home in an instant, who would read my deepest thoughts”? Suddenly it occurred to me, my heart and soul are bared to no one in particular, but for anyone to read. my mind drifts to my three sons first. Would they embrace having the knowledge knowing their mom even better than they do now?

 

i’m reminded of the movie Bridges of Madison County and how upon her death, Merle Streep revealed her true self in her journals to her grown children at last. Her daughter was filled with delight as her son shivered at the thought of his mother having sex at all, let alone with a complete stranger to him whom she was deeply in love with. Lucky girl to have known that love. 

i’ve not drawn any conclusion as to how i feel about this “what if” scenario that has given me pause, but honestly i’m not hiding anything in the preparation of “just in case” either. Everything will remain as is. i welcome the idea of at the very least, my three sons “getting to know” their true submissive mom and her journey of life.

Having a close relationship with each of them in our own unique ways, i would never be embarrassed and certainly not ashamed of who i am. It would be my hope and heart’s deepest desire that knowing the truth and accepting that i lived very happily within my lifestyle, would make them smile. i already have the picture in my heart and mind of them sitting around the bonfire with their cigs and bottle of whatever, toasting mom and chuckling together at the real life me that they probably already suspect anyhow.

::giggle and cheers boys::

They all know i love them each to the moon and back.

Nothing else matters.

Living with no regrets, speaking the truth of what is on my heart at the moment it is placed there, is how i choose to live life today. It is far to precious a gift not to cherish every golden moment, challenge and triumph.

my contentment…a life of serving within a relationship of honesty and integrity that includes structure, respect, honor, trust, patience, adoration,  excitement, fun, erotic sex and love, formed and created out of Dominance and submission, allowing the other freedom to “just be” while naked and vulnerable, as the raw flesh we were born to be within each other’s presence.  Personally i celebrate it and have faith that so would those who are privy to my special life… 

i’ve learned the difficult way to never be afraid of those three little words that are the only reason we are even here to enjoy and embrace this earthly walk called life.  I love you, say it boldly and loudly, softly and constantly, feel it, declare it, mean it, know it, hold it, understand it’s abundance, that it covers all, because in the end, it is the only thing that anyone can ever take with them and also leave behind…

I LOVE YOU

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little girl on her submissive soap box…

 Who you are outside the bedroom defines who you are in it…

Are you The Man or just another nice guy? Is she the one making all the demands? Are  you the one receiving her commands? Are you holding her accountable for her own responsibilities or are you picking up all the slack because she has dug her heels in while laughing “dance little monkey dance” when really she deserves her (little?) bottom reddened into her reality? Have you put her on a pedestal when you are the one who belongs on a podium? Do you bite your tongue as the words, “but honey, you are beautiful just the way you are” slips from your lips when what you truly want to declare is, “get your butt to the gym, there’s work to be done!” How is that serving her if you remain silent of your true wishes and desires? Afraid (cringe) that she will respond in her characteristic, boisterous, BSC voice that you so dread then retreat and she will likely withhold sex until you repent? (yuck) Backwards thinking and wrong action here fellas…

Be the leader, please do not conform. Take back what is yours and has been from the start, the power and control! What has you locked up, so stymied that you are reluctant to take charge as the Man? Fear?!?! of what? Complacency? Losing her? Finding your Manly voice? Been shamed for desires, wants and needs?  Please…

Stop giving her a false sense of security. If she hasn’t earned it, or she isn’t working towards a better her, then by all means, make her. If you ever want/hope to take her, own her and keep her, push her harder to be what you want. The Magic 8 Ball says, chances are good that she was delivered similar messages as you were her whole life. “Don’t have those thoughts. Don’t let a man run your life. Shame on you for this and that. You are the queen of the house. A happy wife makes a happy life”. Wrong. Change the tape…

Allow me to divulge in a little vulgarity from this little girl’s mouth; which comes (cums) first the cock or the pussy?  This is absolutely rhetorical as well it ought to be. Clearly the answer in my world is, His cock. As for His pussy, only when He says she can. His cock is worthy of worship and respect because my Daddy doesn’t think with His, isn’t controlled by it, but definitely knows what to do with it and that He is the Master of His domain and His little girl.

.

Not all females are willing to be a submissive or even slightly submit to their man. That’s unfortunate for them. i also realize they may be trapped in control mode further hindering their ability to release it all to Him. You, the Man need to put your big, strong hand (uh hum)over her mouth and tell her to hush, it’s handled, whatever “it” is. Then by all means, follow through. She will no doubt protest time and time again, but if you are who and what God intended you to be, (not your mama, society or your fellow nice guys) then you will continue to take charge of your life. Your manhood depends upon it. It is time to redeem yourself as such.

What prompted these words of declaration were recent conversations my Daddy and i have had on this very topic in regards to what we have been witnessing in society as a whole. Allow this girl to reiterate yet again how feminism has clearly and sadly emasculated the men of our generation. Sweep up the eggshells you’ve been walking on and pour the concrete for your new foundation. Your woman will learn to desire and crave you and wonder what is happening to her. Be consistent…

Daddy and i have both swallowed that red pill and since then have discovered the depths of our core beliefs. Our mothers, grandmothers and women of days past have fucked up our men of today.

(refer to Rollo Tomassi http://therationalmale.com/ He is brilliant)

THIS——>

(http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/08/male-dominance-beginners-guide.html)

This girl will admit, there was some trepidation and intimidation while feeling a bit threatened by Rollo’s blog, along with others in the manosphere at the introduction of them. However, it wasn’t long after that the positive transitions and transformations she witnessed in her Sir were astounding. The resistance she once had to the idea initially were diminished while the Alpha within Him was emerging at an alarming rate. 

Daddy doesn’t demand the respect of His little girl, but He has it fully. He silently requires it and ultimately deserves every ounce of it. In return, i feel His adoration and protection shining through. Because of this, our D/s DD/lg relationship was born. Certainly not without a lot of examination, reevaluation, continuous conversations, including openness and honesty of expectations. All of which has brought Daddy to a whole new, higher level of control and i to a deeper level of obedience and submission.

 Overall this has been an exciting journey to date…

random things that make this lg say, yum and hmm…

Fear has no place in our world as it can be cunning and this lg finds herself in an internal battle that she loses each and every time. Trusting that Daddy knows me better than i know myself is astounding. He listens and takes things into consideration, but i understand it is ultimately up to Him while my input is noted.

Squirms under His control, knowing full well i am secure, i endure, wanting this to escalate as the pain turns to pleasure, the wetness giving away my sin~cerity, Daddy persists, silencing my wincing, covering my mouth, kisses follow, i relax, He continues…

morning sex

The aroma of the mixed con”cock”tions from our juices left over from the evening before were potent as Daddy awoke His little girl’s senses once more in the wee hours of the morning. Gentle tugs on His now sore nipples from being well used, joined together with His big firm hands that engulf His tits while intertwining His strong legs with hers. As the intoxicating scent exhumed from beneath the covers this little girl is instantly aroused, soaked, wanting her Daddy with such desire. Daddy’s moans reveal the same as He finds His wetness yet again. “Good girl, just the way I like to find my kitty” as He begins to slide up and down, His cock hardening all over again…

Pushing this lg’s limits, Daddy satisfies His wants by taking what is His while fulfilling our fantasies as our bodies and souls connect deeper than imaginable. Moving beyond the touches of skin, erotic moans that fill the air and arousal that comes with a simple graze of His fingertips across His little girl’s body. His words accompanied with “baby” or “little girl” create an eagerness to please and serve Him always in all ways…

Training His girl in ways that used to merely spark His imagination have been brought to life. Creating an even safer place where vulnerability is embraced and caressed, this lg’s submission is becoming more intense. Daddy has added new toys to the nearly full box now. Additions to the family that Daddy had only envisioned until recently.  The reception from His girl has pleased Him beyond what His lg believes He’s ever dreamed possible. Well…

Daddy’s invasion of His little girl’s mind is a constant as is her submission to Him. His ability to continually keep control is a powerful gift bestowed upon this beauty of a Man that i am learning can be wearing on Him at times. Respectfully i share, “Daddy, in a sense i am training You as well, don’t You think? By training i mean, You are letting me do more for You than before Sir”. “Mmm hmm yes little girl, I can see that”, now all she wants is to suck her “thumb”…

Together we are learning as we evolve further into our DD/lg lifestyle. 

 

 

 

 

my life, my world, my choice, my love, my happiness…

there are many layers to this little girl

depths upon depths to her caring soul

capacities to reach, a purpose to fill

all in all sharing love is her ultimate goal

If it’s on my heart, it is going to find its way to my head, pass through a filter and exit through my soft-spoken lips in the form of gentle words. My truth, my fears, my feelings, my soul, raw, naked and revealed.

I ran into a dear old friend today. Our paths haven’t crossed in months. Albeit, I take full responsibility for this as my life has been evolving and taking on new directions, but it was abundantly clear (pointed out to me) that my lack of presence has been acutely noticed and severely missed. “Where have you been?!” were the first exclamatory words tossed my way. A smile emerging from the turned up corners of my mouth. “Oh, you know how life can be, always in session. (giggling to myself at the meaning of that word) It can be incredibly busy as it heads off down several avenues, sparkling with a new adventure around each corner “. An evil yet warm grin came back to me, “Yes well, you are not allowed to just disappear on me. I need you!”  (((hugs))) We are suchgirls2!

A divine appointment? Indeed. We began to bring each other up to speed on what has transpired in her life and the transitions occurring in my own. In the brief period of time we had, we managed to cover a lot of territory and still had air left in our lungs. A bite to eat, shopping and girl talk was exactly what the Good Lord ordered.  As we walked along the sidewalk, another gal pal of ours crossed our paths. It was as if the universe had laid a golden path of estrogen to replenish us and tie our souls together once again.  I simply looked up, smiled with grace, peace and love in my heart while giving praise to the One Who planned this.

It is abundantly clear in these times that my spiritual plane is defined and directed. A greater understanding of what my purpose is. My course is set and I am on track. I am His little girl beautifully and wonderfully made. My Daddy Sir creating me as His own while His lady continues to blossom and unfold before His very eyes.

I am needed, I am missed

I am loved, I do matter, I do exist

I need not fear

for I am loved the message is clear   

My heart overflowing  with love I never knew I could spare

but rather mass-produced with plenty to share…