attitude of gratitude…

If I accomplish but one thing in life and that is that I was able to show, give and receive the love in my heart, then my purpose has been filled. Maybe that is 3 things, but they all go hand in hand.

When I began this blog, it was at the encouragement and urging of my then, “Captain” of my life. I had no idea what I wanted to do or make this look like. As I peruse back over my posts, I see the changes and growth in this relationship, but mostly in me. It has not been smooth sailing, but like Grampa always told and showed me, anything worth having is worth working for.

I have never been one to sit still very long or camp out and stay with one mainstreamed theme as I have proven within my writings. I write for me and if something appeals to another soul, all the more encouraging for part of my purpose. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Never have I thought in terms of being like the proverbial iceberg. What you see on the surface is only a piece of what exists within this girl. I have been reminded often of not being direct and in need of a translator for my thoughts. I understand my heart pretty well, but conveying what is on it to another can present a challenge at times. As I write these words I again display a classic rendition of which I speak. Jumbled deliverances bouncing around seeking clarity, yet leaving the reader to decipher just what in the world this girl is saying.

I very rarely get sick, but yesterday I suffered a bout of something foreign within that forced me to be as still as possible. By late evening it seemed to be dissipating. However, after behaving in a wretched manner, I began to dislike my own company. I cracked open a book that I have intended on reading for some time now. As I began to devour this powerful read, revelations of myself were seeping in, strengthening me to my core. I shared snippets of my findings just to have them fall on deaf ears or so it seemed. Offended and hurt, I became relentless with my continued behavior, further rendering myself a nuisance.

Upon  awakening this morning, not only was the bug that strapped me down gone, my attitude was brighter. I forgave myself for acting poorly and chalked it up to feeling my aloneness and in need of soothing comfort during an uncomfortable time. No longer do I want to be at the mercy of someone else’s approval. 

The realization of where my focus has been and the ways in which it is illusive can misdirect me, but are becoming more apparent. There are so many things, including people, that desire my attention. It is evident that life does give me what I attract with my thoughts. Believing then that I will bring close to me what my energy displays. The verdict is in, everyone along my journey truly is a teacher in my life. I firmly embrace that.

Recently a friend took some pictures of me just for fun and posted one on social media. I in turn used one for my profile picture and the response, though not the intention or motive, was astounding. A simple drama free act, lead to more than I could have imagined. Typically I am not welcoming of such attention, but the outpour I received was somehow what I was in need of without knowing it. This particular site isn’t a place I frequently choose to visit, but suddenly I was being filled up in ways I hadn’t connected that were deficient. Shortly after what was innocent fun in the moment, God was sending messages through His vessels with His Divine appointments. Private messages were coming in with words of support and encouragement, reminding me how much my existence does matter to this world. Somehow I had lost track of that.

Evolving is a slow process of changing over a period of time. During these changes I have been experiencing some severe growing pains as I weather some treacherous storms, but landing on my feet is what this kitty has always managed to do. There have been times of celebration for triumphs and successes that hold my attention more. Press on big girl, there is more of life to experience, more love to give, show and receive…

 

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12 thoughts on “attitude of gratitude…

  1. Dear suchagirl2

    Once again I find myself smiling as I delight in your outpouring of emotions.
    I know not your age, but while it feels that you are quite possibly a young lady, you speak with the soul of one much older. I cannot help but know that you own evolution walks a path of enlightenment, not just for yourself, but also for those who chance upon your path on their own journeys.

    You are an inspiration for those downtrodden, those seeking a candle in the window, for those afraid of the dark but also for those who need a moment of confirmation that they too choose to walk the right path. Your very existence adds beauty to the garden we all walk about in.

    As one who has been there for others, guiding them to discovery of themselves, I also know the warmth your “Captain” feels within as your growth continues to flower. It is a blessing of its own to see and hear such words as yours conveyed. Know this dear lady that yours observations and expressions thereof are a source of encouragement for many and bring a smile of pleasure as those older of us watch you evolve.

    Pain and pleasure, happiness and sorrow, fear and rejoicing, whatever side of the scales of life that you find yourself on know that there is also its equal. We cannot live one without the other and not know strength. May you continue to embrace life with the realization that you are as valuable a flower that sways across the fields of the future as those that accompany you. Without you the collage of colours would suffer and remain incomplete.

    Walk tall and proud of your beauty young lady.
    Your beauty brings a smile to so many.

    • Gosh, I am speechless at your outpouring of generosity and heartfelt kindness. I have now read this 3 times. The first was 2 nights ago in the depths of some lonliness and did it bring up the tears. Your thoughtfullness to take the time and respond to me is astounding and a Godsend.

      As life changes and I transition from one thing to the next, my writings typically depict my journey.That was my intention when I first began putting my words out here, but I became self stifling for many reasons. Gratefully current circumstances have shown me to respect myself and thoughts. To speak what it is on my heart and in my soul. How else will I reach the healing if I don’t embrace the feeling. I have been blessed immensely with beautiful spirits such as yourself who express their thoughts and show me their insight that feels as though we are old friends. That to me is God working His miracles.

      If I could spend most of my days writing and conversing with those on a similar spiritual plane, I would be forever filled up in this way. Thank you for reaching out and touching my heart. Your timing is divinely in order.

      • Dear suchagirl2

        I am pleased that my sharing with you adds to the fullness of your day.
        I cannot help but wonder if you look at your own words from the outside and see what we, whether new or old souls, see and smile upon.

        You are indeed growing within with the depth and insight of a soul that seeks the warmth of the sunlight. Your realization that you stifled your own being is, I hope, a spark of awakening for others. All too easily can one become so immersed in ones search that they forget to breath. The nourishment needed to thrive is disregarded, the thirst for understanding becomes parched and self defeating. You, however, did not seal your fate. You opened your heart to new opportunities to learn from outside yourself. Rather than bury yourself in devouring darkness you took a hand offered and allowed yourself the freedom to express your soul.

        We can all offer our hand in friendships, to offer understanding etc.. yet only you own the responsibility to reach forth and accept. Smile upon yourself for taking charge of your life and reversing that which must be, moving forward with renewed strength and vigor. Only you own that and only you have the power to make it what you deem it fit to be.

        I consider it a blessing to converse with you suchagirl2 ..
        I smile as I read your words of wishing to converse most of your days on a spiritual plane and thus be forever filled up. I hasten to remind you that to fill you up is not what I should desire to do. I should prefer to leave room for more opportunities of refreshment. 🙂

        Smile dear lady .. enjoy this day to your fullest 🙂

      • My goodness your words are so eliquently stated, I sit here reading in awe of them and you. You, my friend of mystery, indeed have a style similar to that of a spirit greater than with more than a splash of holiness sprinkled throughout. You have the ability to see the wholeness of life and feel a deep reverence for the beauty of it all which is also why your words bless me. Sir, the holy spirit resides within, whether a believer or not, it is apparent. I thank you for gracing my world here…

        🙂

      • Dear suchagirl2

        Your compliment is not wasted but rather, with a smile, it is appreciated.

        You indeed are not the first to refer to me as ‘of mystery’, however, the level of holiness to which you refer I do believe exaggerated. I say this not to lessen the sincerity of my words spoken, rather to clarify that which you may appear to see me as.

        To explain my ability to see with the depth of which I share, would to many come across as pompous and self serving. Suffice to say my dear lady, that I see with potentially more fullness than some simply as a result of my lives hence past.

        I hold great reverence for all things; that I should chose to share the side which possesses beauty is directly influenced by your desire to learn.

        suchagirl2 .. you are a key reason the holy spirit of which you speak exists at all.

      • Sir, perhaps I shall rescind my reference to you as “a mystery” as there is slowly becoming a familiar air about your deliverence that gives me pause and a warm smile. 😉

        In any case, there is no need to explain your wisdom and insight which both reveal a high level of emotional intelligence. Yet these are more characteristics that have a familiar feel as well, neither of which give reason to think you arrogant.

        My hand to you in gratitude for your compassion and kindness~

      • Familiarity; one cannot help but take pause and wonder on what plain.
        Nonetheless, that it should bring to your face a smile of warmth pleases me.

        That energy which guides us all has dome so with its own purpose..
        With warmth of heart I take your hand to offer but what I can.

  2. I don’t know why I am not getting emails of your new posts. I checked the settings and they are for instant post and instant comment notifications, but here I am a week late.

    When you feel like it, I’d be interested in how a lot of things are going. No rush though. Don’t work yourself into a tizzy trying to catch the red dot. If you catch everything in life, you have nothing left to pursue. We can all use a reason to get up in the morning.

    • Hello my friend,

      I don’t know why either, but I am happy that you noticed and stopped by again, as always. You are right on time. A catch up is in order and I shall do just that. 😉

      You know this kitten all too well that once her sights are set on determination, she is focused. Hence the red dot. 😉 There is more of a deeper purpose revealed for putting two feet on the ground each and every day. I thank The Lord that He reminds me of those things daily.

      hmmm, just felt an inspiration… ❤

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