people care and have paid attention…

Living with such intensity

Putting myself out there for all the world to see

Roads paved with mock~able beta men

Passively addressing leaving me to remember when

How I craved the sternness and power under Your control

The subtle consensual exchange as we began to grow

A glance over my shoulder not a single moment of regret

Carefully selected by You made me never to forget

Just sitting there approached from everywhere I turn

My head fully aware that my heart stings from the burn

Dance with this one and from that one accept another drink

Don’t get so close stop touching me please I am on the brink

They all feel so wrong knowing what they are after

I am not for them this feels like a cruel joke but I’ve yet to hear the laughter

Days are fading into night plans we made coming up fast

Distracting myself from disbelief that we were not to last

My thoughts interrupted by an inquisitive friend wanting simply just to know

“where’s your man” the quiet words whispered from my lips “He let me go”

Not knowing what to say he shook his head with charm

followed with an “I’m so sorry” and a gentle caress upon my arm

We had become iconic Daddy and me in our tiny little town

People taking comfort seeing us around

“You always looked so happy” more soothing words they say

“I thought we were” is all I reply “but here we are today”

Stop dwelling my head tells my heart

How can we heal and move on while we remain torn apart

I’ll get there when I’m ready to stop bathing in the sorrow

I know there has to be a joyful and brighter tomorrow

Life keeps on turning with the kindness of others who mean well

Continued reminders of what once was now only time will tell

You always seemingly knew what was for the best

This time a standing ovation putting us to rest

Now the silent promise to Yourself keep a safe distance so not to stumble

Severed and all alone assuring us not to crumble

No one seems to understand the ache I bear within

Desperately wanting to lunge me forward to begin anew once again

As Daddy already declared that time is all that can fill

The broken-hearted emptiness but for now time is standing still

kitty…XO

He let me go…

 

You didn’t bring me coffee

Was the day you set me free

So easy just to quit

Never to commit 

The love I felt inside

Nowhere did reside

Within your heart somewhere

Left me in despair 

High measures I didn’t meet

Often You would repeat

A threat to my wounded flesh

Now everything’s a mess

Were you good to me

In wonder I begin to see

Beyond the tears and sorrow

There has to be a better tomorrow

Placed out on the street

In my box left to meet

my fate destined to end this way

No promises of another day

Whoreish nightmares abound 

Treacherous realities found

Your meanings I couldn’t hear 

With codes vaguely clear

Trickery so masterful controlled

Failure in your eyes once again to be told

You’ve left me feeling numb

With nothing more than a crumb 

A desire to succeed 

Was all I needed to proceed

Heart reject this pain

Flow of love to remain

Torment please be over

Peace hurry come cover

Bring comfort and rest 

Find safety in my best

My life though uncertain

Has drawn another curtain

Transparency to reveal

Warm my flesh so I may feel

Unfold my purpose and grand design

There has to be more than a simple choice to resign 

In the shadows of You

confused and untrue

Back to myself I did come

Standing at a loss now wanting to run

How long before this comes to an end

No more struggles left to mend

My sincerest honest show

Still you let me go…

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