He let me go…

 

You didn’t bring me coffee

Was the day you set me free

So easy just to quit

Never to commit 

The love I felt inside

Nowhere did reside

Within your heart somewhere

Left me in despair 

High measures I didn’t meet

Often You would repeat

A threat to my wounded flesh

Now everything’s a mess

Were you good to me

In wonder I begin to see

Beyond the tears and sorrow

There has to be a better tomorrow

Placed out on the street

In my box left to meet

my fate destined to end this way

No promises of another day

Whoreish nightmares abound 

Treacherous realities found

Your meanings I couldn’t hear 

With codes vaguely clear

Trickery so masterful controlled

Failure in your eyes once again to be told

You’ve left me feeling numb

With nothing more than a crumb 

A desire to succeed 

Was all I needed to proceed

Heart reject this pain

Flow of love to remain

Torment please be over

Peace hurry come cover

Bring comfort and rest 

Find safety in my best

My life though uncertain

Has drawn another curtain

Transparency to reveal

Warm my flesh so I may feel

Unfold my purpose and grand design

There has to be more than a simple choice to resign 

In the shadows of You

confused and untrue

Back to myself I did come

Standing at a loss now wanting to run

How long before this comes to an end

No more struggles left to mend

My sincerest honest show

Still you let me go…

MIP_6293

 

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6 thoughts on “He let me go…

  1. My Dear SuchaGirl

    My heart sank deep upon reading your words of despair
    Leaving me to wonder if indeed it was no more but a cruel design
    This ‘man’ to let you go as if but a disappointment
    What kind of man holds himself so high without blemish
    To toy with the emotions of a child as if a game
    My stomach turns to think although I know it to be true
    That exist there be such men whom I despise
    To think themselves as “God and Ruler’
    Possessing not the knowledge that such roles also require
    A humility of soul and spirit to be of any worth

    Take hold of my extended hand young lady
    Wrap around you the warmth of my support
    Know that upon this green earth exist souls to be true
    Easier said, that in trust you may believe my offer of compassion
    Understand that my words while but words on a screen do carry worth

    Stand tall with wounded heart
    Look into the mirror of your soul
    Know that you have grown
    Try as they may there be not one to steal it away

    Life as we know is but a revolving door
    Times of happiness and sorrow
    Feelings of fullness balanced with the empty
    Life cruel of its own accord

    As a child that touches a thorn
    Having gazed in wonder at the rose
    Sheds tears of pain
    What lesson to be learned
    There shall be temptation to touch that pointed guard
    The beauty before her pulling yet for her attention
    Inquisitive as to what level of pain there should be
    If she with caution does touch lightly but a different thorn

    Lessons you have learned my dear
    Knowledge its own gift you have also gathered
    Revel in the enhanced beauty of your soul
    Your are stronger within than you give as a credit to yourself

    You have indeed come back to yourself
    Now standing unsure of where to run
    Run not for much better it is to walk with tempered breath
    Than to know ceaseless exhaustion
    Bound on a course with no purpose
    No direction nor beauty to accompany you along the way

    Stand and close your eyes
    Wrapping your arms across your breasts
    Hold yourself close
    Hold yourself tight
    Breathe deep through your nostrils
    Exhale slowly threw your lips
    Now hold your head high
    Repeat and release your moment’s stresses
    Your anguish it shall yet fade

    Look back at the beauty once known
    Look back at the lessons learned
    Then turn and look forward
    Smile at yourself and see those you pass
    Wonder at what it is that you possess
    That which they also seek

    Easy is it for me to say all shall heal
    Easy for me to say you shall trust and love yet again
    Fact is you already know my words to be true
    Fact is that as you shake of fear there glows yet inside you
    That ember of hope, trust and love
    It shall once again be birthed to a flame

    Grab this blanket of compassion I do offer
    Wrap yourself its warmth
    When you are ready to find your direction
    I shall be here to take your hand to help lift you from the floor
    to extend my hand as guide to your path
    Smiling as I stand to watch you walk forward
    To see you excited ready to witness the wonder yet to be revealed

    I shall always be close enough
    Only but a look away
    For as long as I remain
    A friend with extended hand

    • “Possessing not the knowledge that such roles also require. A humility of soul and spirit to be of any worth”. A lifestyle not to be taken lightly or merely dabbled in is a very painful lesson. We did not wake up one day and dive in. There was much reading and discovery within oursleves and with each other as we evolved, still heartbroken me again and again, hence your intuitive words.

      I cannot possibly reply to all of your deep meaning words of wisdom here, but with gratitude once more, I receive that! I know I deserve such tenderness and kindness as has been offered. Thank you for being another human to minister such devotional hope to me.

      I often pray for the stranger for others to “show them the light”, especially my sons. It would appear that others say a similar prayer for me as the strength shines through and comfort finds me in some unexpected places.

      The heaviness that lingers leaving me in confusion will lighten over time as clarity removes the fog I yet stumble through. I find the healing comes when 2 or more are gathered in His Holy name and I seek to find solace there. He wants so much goodness, joy and happiness for me. The path of self discovery has been the largest blessing of all on this part of my journey. I wouldn’t exchange a moment of any part of my experience. My soul may carry burdens of ache for as long as it takes, but it has scars already that are there to remind me.

      Today I may be strug~gull~ing immensely, but one day I will smile more as I glance back without staring. My heart knows how to give and receive love and that is not something anyone can ever take from me.

      Thank you my friend…always 😉

      • Dear SuchaGirl

        Trust … without which there is no ‘you and I’
        Abused renders the innocent used .. the user unpardonable

        Indeed this is NOT a lifestyle for amusement
        If anything it is one of sacrifice on both sides.. of heart and soul for each .. thrusting that neither shall be compromised on a human level
        Your trust manipulated.. playing into the hands of one so despicable
        Trust misplaced.. heart and soul given to one who would play such a dangerous game

        Be not confused little one .. for you shall be stronger with understanding
        The hows and whys are easily understood when looked at from a distance as I am able to do ..
        He took advantage of your inner child..
        We sentence people who abuse the trust of a child
        We should also sentence adults who abuse the inner child

        Whether taken advantage of or with love given snippets of guidance your paths of self discovery lead to the unfolding of your beauty
        May I be so bold as to express words admiration of your physical beauty as well … his loss.. the world’s gain
        As a wise one once said “We fall so that we may learn to stand back up”
        Standing back up you have chosen to do .. such is first needed ..
        you choose to stand rather than lay down in defeat.. I smile
        Scrapes and scars indeed to remind you of that which to be wary of as you continue your journeys .. for we walk not one but many…
        listening to the inner voice of journey’s past .. lessons learned during each

        You once expressed that you knew me.. indeed your inner voice speaks true
        the when or where unknown but yes .. we have shared time and space at one time or another
        you recognized as you listened .. use that same ability to smile upon yet another day to grow

        Your heart is a diamond.. let it shine to dazzle those whose presence you grace
        Struggle not alone.. I am here to catch you as quickly as I possibly can
        When you look back .. see that which tripped you up.. chuckle to thy yourself knowing that, should another trickster once again appear, you will side step allowing them to be the one to stumble over their own feet.

      • Rarely am I at a loss for words, but this time my words are few as my prayers are being answered. I have cried out to the One who knows my heart best in a desperate exchange for peace and comfort and He has quieted my soul on some days along with my voice on most. I have raged my anger and yelled out my hurt, yet still He grants me mercy and grace. There is no room in this girl’s body, mind and soul for remorse or regret, only gratitude, love and acceptance.

        Never have I looked behind and found malice or corruption lurking. Perhaps lacking in responsibilty for knowing the dangers to the one who complied and consented so completely while the other remained in a limited capacity. Too many words of concern left unspoken, fear played the biggest part. A system that became uncertain created on experimentation, driven by desire while relinquishing control without proper procedure with an agreement in place, gained us confusion and inconsistency. Then to be left in a manner so disgraceful to something that was once valued, earned and respected, is now the pain that I must face. This is the true sorrow that pierces my heart when I allow myself to think too much…

  2. PostScript
    While I can see but a portion of your tat I find it quite impressive..
    How fitting to see you walk with such a work of art
    Your are the canvas without which it would not exist

    My shoulders are still pretty wide but they are choosey as to whom it is that is allowed there to lean
    You have my email..
    Should you feel comfortable enough to do so, I extend to you an open invitation to reach out to me..

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