secret thoughts kept in the doubting mind of His lsgk…

Maybe it’s all in her head
she wonders if He thinks she doesn’t know
she remains quietly praying over the one thing she does dread
instinct is a peculiar feeling
very seldom wrong
she has learned to listen intently to it
not push aside or place on ignore
this powerful message is what keeps her strong
she carries on acting as if wanting this life to be real
her best effort put forward to honor serve and please
her heart body mind and soul invested, excited just to feel
in her past she ignored the truth a safer place to hide
deny what was right in front of her 
not face the gut wrenching realities that hurt too much inside 
smile through the days
in the night He is right there
what really ventures through our minds 
enjoy this moment in time knowing how much we share 
being this girl in her deep level of submission is beautiful yet makes her very tired 
He reminds her often this is no easy task 
a consensual agreement to this lifestyle of which we both are wired  
so much to learn as her training continues she steadily grows 
not wanting to have insecurities be content in His loving arms
His property needs to feel safe under His control this He surely knows
one thing is certain this girl recognizes her value worth and gift capable to rise above 
understanding all this entails as she offers herself to Him daily wanting just to trust
in return she desires to receive His security protection and love 
the day washes over them our small town fun we did partake 
laughing and drinking talking and playing 
a beautiful day please never let me be awake 
 tears streamed slowly down as they walked through the door leaving a black stained face 
The Master slowly drifts off to His slumber while His slave nuzzles close in His warm embrace
the liquid truth serum revealing with His whispering voice in her ear~ 
“Your Master cherishes His slave you know, that is why I chose you and I show much I care”…
 
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positive self talk, “girl…”

 More-Revealed-e1391016372595

trust the unseen

you think that you know

the blinders came off

to expose the awful show

a fool in your own eyes

in your heart a disaster

your mind played tricks

while you tried to run faster

away from the reality

look in the mirror

what do you see

nowhere to hide

this time I chose me

hold tight to your heart

regain your dignity

no regrets or remorse

celebrate your victory

you’ve always had a choice

how quickly you get lost

led down the dark and narrow

possessed and then tossed

out of the ashes beauty remains

you’ve experienced more pain than a lifetime should hold

the healing is coming as you draw Him close to you

always remember you have a heart made of gold

what DO you want? …

The eternal question arises again and again, what does one want in this life

to give thanks for the blessings and accept them as they come

or keep our focus on discarding the elements of strife

a sheild of armor that wall of protection

let nothing in that could possibly hurt

cause frustration pain or rejection

some more broken than others in need of repair

hold their heart and dry the tears

show them that you do care

the purpose in this life or so i have found

is to give and receive love nothing else truly matters

hear the words barely a whisper yet mighty and profound

simply spoken and true 

three soothing words uttered from my lips

I LOVE YOU…

secrets thoughts kept in the doubting mind of His lsgk…

Maybe it’s all in her head
she wonders if He thinks she doesn’t know
she remains quietly praying over the one thing she does dread
instinct is a peculiar feeling very seldom wrong
she has learned to listen intently to it
not push aside or place on ignore
this powerful message is what keeps her strong
she carries on acting as if wanting this life to be real
her best effort put forward to honor serve and please
her heart body mind and soul invested, excited just to feel
in her past she ignored the truth a safer place to hide
deny what was right in front of her 
not face the gut wrenching realities that hurt too much inside 
smile through the days in the night He is right there
what really ventures through our minds 
enjoy this moment in time knowing how much we share 
being this girl in her deep level of submission is beautiful yet makes her very tired 
He reminds her often this is no easy task 
a consensual agreement to this lifestyle of which we both are wired  
so much to learn as her training continues she steadily grows 
not wanting to have insecurities be content in His loving arms
His property needs to feel safe under His control this He surely knows
one thing is certain this girl recognizes her value worth and gift capable to rise above 
understanding all this entails as she offers herself to Him daily wanting just to trust
in return she desires to receive His security protection and love 
the day washes over them our small town fun we did partake 
laughing and drinking talking and playing 
a beautiful day please never let me be awake 
 tears streamed slowly down as they walked through the door leaving a black stained face 
The Master slowly drifts off to His slumber while His slave nuzzles close in His warm embrace
the liquid truth serum revealing with His whispering voice in her ear~ 
“Your Master cherishes His slave you know, that is why I chose you and I show much I care”…
 
 

people care and have paid attention…

Living with such intensity

Putting myself out there for all the world to see

Roads paved with mock~able beta men

Passively addressing leaving me to remember when

How I craved the sternness and power under Your control

The subtle consensual exchange as we began to grow

A glance over my shoulder not a single moment of regret

Carefully selected by You made me never to forget

Just sitting there approached from everywhere I turn

My head fully aware that my heart stings from the burn

Dance with this one and from that one accept another drink

Don’t get so close stop touching me please I am on the brink

They all feel so wrong knowing what they are after

I am not for them this feels like a cruel joke but I’ve yet to hear the laughter

Days are fading into night plans we made coming up fast

Distracting myself from disbelief that we were not to last

My thoughts interrupted by an inquisitive friend wanting simply just to know

“where’s your man” the quiet words whispered from my lips “He let me go”

Not knowing what to say he shook his head with charm

followed with an “I’m so sorry” and a gentle caress upon my arm

We had become iconic Daddy and me in our tiny little town

People taking comfort seeing us around

“You always looked so happy” more soothing words they say

“I thought we were” is all I reply “but here we are today”

Stop dwelling my head tells my heart

How can we heal and move on while we remain torn apart

I’ll get there when I’m ready to stop bathing in the sorrow

I know there has to be a joyful and brighter tomorrow

Life keeps on turning with the kindness of others who mean well

Continued reminders of what once was now only time will tell

You always seemingly knew what was for the best

This time a standing ovation putting us to rest

Now the silent promise to Yourself keep a safe distance so not to stumble

Severed and all alone assuring us not to crumble

No one seems to understand the ache I bear within

Desperately wanting to lunge me forward to begin anew once again

As Daddy already declared that time is all that can fill

The broken-hearted emptiness but for now time is standing still

kitty…XO

He let me go…

 

You didn’t bring me coffee

Was the day you set me free

So easy just to quit

Never to commit 

The love I felt inside

Nowhere did reside

Within your heart somewhere

Left me in despair 

High measures I didn’t meet

Often You would repeat

A threat to my wounded flesh

Now everything’s a mess

Were you good to me

In wonder I begin to see

Beyond the tears and sorrow

There has to be a better tomorrow

Placed out on the street

In my box left to meet

my fate destined to end this way

No promises of another day

Whoreish nightmares abound 

Treacherous realities found

Your meanings I couldn’t hear 

With codes vaguely clear

Trickery so masterful controlled

Failure in your eyes once again to be told

You’ve left me feeling numb

With nothing more than a crumb 

A desire to succeed 

Was all I needed to proceed

Heart reject this pain

Flow of love to remain

Torment please be over

Peace hurry come cover

Bring comfort and rest 

Find safety in my best

My life though uncertain

Has drawn another curtain

Transparency to reveal

Warm my flesh so I may feel

Unfold my purpose and grand design

There has to be more than a simple choice to resign 

In the shadows of You

confused and untrue

Back to myself I did come

Standing at a loss now wanting to run

How long before this comes to an end

No more struggles left to mend

My sincerest honest show

Still you let me go…

MIP_6293

 

similarly different…

DEFEAT

Controlled into giving up. Head hangs low. Eyes closed tight. Shame abound. Body goes limp. Pride and ego shattered. Spiritually bankrupt. Hidden undercover from the world. Saturated in fear. Afraid to move. More to come. Stay down.  Enemy on the prowl. Worn. Momentary.

Overcome~

SUBMIT

Relinquish control. Readily available and permissible. Tolerate without resistance. Consensually suggestive. Arms stretched out. Hands open to give. Heart receives. Mind is clear. Fully trusting. Spirit enlightened. Purpose acknowledged. Promises implied then fulfilled. Unspoken surety. Honored. Protection proclaimed. Safe.

Continuity~

SURRENDER

Every inch of my body weightless. Taking in a breath, a conscious effort. Exhaling needing a reminder. Two feet on the floor, one in front of the other. Eyes forward, looking up, not down. Glancing back to see how far I’ve come. Heart beat slows just to keep up its pulse. Stumble then fall. Get back up again. Trust the process. light-headed yet clear minded. Calming as still waters. A peacefulness so foreign. Soothing like a baby’s gentle touch. Drenched in comfort. Consumed with contentment. Filled with acceptance. Not an ounce of fight within.

Redemption~

about a girl…

who once had a heart of glass

she offered it so freely

emptied it out then filled it up

gently worn but not without class

forever giving it away

since she was a little child

first to her daddy

then any man that would stay

she never knew why

she chased the uncatchable

near starved for affection

her heart bled till it was dry

unbeknownst to her deepest desire

the bottomless craving this girl did possess

she gave of herself

the most precious gift to acquire

You need not work hard for it to obtain

the very core of her being

every ounce of her flesh

though her beauty did remain

the song abound in her ear

give all of yourself

never stop chasing that rainbow

her message perfectly clear

why must the anguish be bestowed upon me

will the lessons never be grasped

destined to repeat them

her struggle to be free

where now does she turn

every corner a stumbling block

waiting for her footing to slip

yet another teacher from which to learn

this time the value is high

the potential loss feels like desertion

when the truth of the matter is

it was merely this heart telling her a lie

 

living intentionally…

rejoice…

I am a design made of multiple complexities, minor flaws and major attributes. I don’t come with an instruction manual nor do I possess a large quantity of malfunctioning parts, but I can tell you this; 

life-on-purpose-thin-black-border

revel…

I am lovable beyond belief, irreplaceable to the point of regret, strong in matters of the heart, more loyal than the puppy next door with patience near that of a kitty waiting outside a mouse’s little house, have integrity as the day is long and contain an abundance of love that is never-ending.  

regret…

If suddenly I were a flame that flickered out, destined to become the faint memory that once graced your life, would you gasp in disbelief that my breath is no longer yours to take in, that what is has become what was and everything you ever knew and thought to be has irreversibly changed in an instant for eternity.

remorse…

Panic stricken and riddled with fear, desperately wanting the hands of time to turn back. You clutch for one more chance, a solitary moment, even if only for a second to say those unspoken words, to undo what has been done, to hold tighter to what could have been, to value what always was, to at last understand the meaning of a precious commodity, to create moments that leave memories etched upon your heart over completion of mundane tasks, to have taken the time to discover all the possibilities of what could have been, to know what it feels like to have your spirit remade, to indulge in pure joy and contentment, to receive new mercy with every new-born day, to know what it means to be filled with love, but instead you are now left with how it truly is.

reality…

time stands still as Your heart beats slow

hitting Your knees head sinks low

 guilt rages within eyes overflow 

looking up to the sky sorrow begins to grow

 pain so intense next time You will know…

the newest me…

How did I get so far behind

Down from the trenches I’ve dug myself out

Sometimes I continue to find myself out of line

Accepting of old shame where a battle may still reside

I have baggage left to unload

Willing to work at it and no longer hide

Keep chipping away my burdens slow to remove

Leaving some wounds and tiny invisible scars

After all they once cut through so much left to prove

I can’t expect the old pain to rush out and come forward

The process is on a continuum basis  

and I am forever moving onward

There is no stopwatch a potion or magic wand

If there were I would wish for one small sip a swift gentle wave

for all that once troubled me surely would be gone

Since time has the only healing power

The virtue of prosperity patience and love  

I must seek from my strong tower

I’ve never managed to escape imperfections or flaws

I wasn’t created as such  

Why then do I tolerate torment it gives me great pause

 Stand back and catch a breath as I ask my heart its true desire 

To always give and receive love

Be honest and true never deceitful or portray a liar

Seek contentment happiness and joy 

Carry it with me let it spill over 

These are the things I can employ

 I know today that I am easy to love 

My barriers are down this heart is receptive

I am being restored from the heavens above

The clock has slowed down giving me such mercy and grace

Memories of old formed my character to be

I’m not who I once was behind this same gentle face 

Look deeper into my eyes the windows to my soul

What you will see if you truly seek to find  

a sparkling new me beginning to glow