i am living in a vanilla world and i am a sub little girl…

because i choose to be, want to be, desire to be…

sub kneeling

his baby girl, His little submissive…

“So, how was your fun weekend away?” “So much fun! i was such a good girl, He told me so, a bunch!” Grinning from ear to ear, my tummy flipped as I thought back over our time away. Remembering how much i pleased Daddy Sir, being His girl He expected and told me He needed me to be. “But he didn’t mean he EXPECTED this and that of you??”  I looked at her with a small grin on my face, not knowing what to say, so I said nothing at all. Here I was finding myself yet again, wondering why I answer a simple question and find judgement on the other side. Biting my tongue numerous times before uttering the words, my Daddy or Sir, forgetting briefly who i am speaking to. What comes so natural to me is required to be censored and i despise that. 

Ah yes, that less than understanding tone coming from a special friend who only wants to see me happy. She sees my glow, my giddy little girl inside exhuming from within, but she can’t relate. i can hear it now, “you did what because He told you to?!” I refrained from sharing once again, holding it in. Being a good little girl is what makes me happy, pleasing and serving my DS as He sees fit. Seeing that warm genuine smile upon His face, knowing that i put it there by being and doing what is expected, means everything to me. It is one of the biggest parts of being a sub that other females just cannot comprehend and that’s ok. 

i have lived that life of a “happy wife makes a happy life”, but that was never accomplished. My control was all that mattered. Pleasing me was what i thought was right. So how come it felt all wrong? i never knew all that was missing. That deep down to be controlled, led, encouraged, held up and protected is what i truly needed and was missing in order for me to submit. Now i am the one who cannot fathom being a controlling wife, a spoiled woman who doesn’t receive discipline and have consequences, or thrive and desire them. 

His constant control and invasion of my mind keeps me in a state of knowing Who i belong to. Every part of me is His, to do with what He pleases, as He chooses always in all ways. 

 

it’s not solely about fucking…

If it were, then be a hooker, a prostitute, a call girl, a whore or any other clichés I forgot to mention.

BECAUSE HE SAID SO…

Being a submissive, regardless of what title is included (baby, little, sub, slave) there is an abundance of responsibilities that come with this honor. There is far more to it than spreading your legs and doing as you are told. To those who do not have this type of active lifestyle, how can you judge that which you do not understand? 

There is a deeply rooted yearning to completely let go and submit to my DD’s every command and demand. I too get my desires and needs met as a direct result. My rewards are abundant, pleasurable and fulfilling. It becomes a lonely real life world when I cannot openly talk about this with others who do not partake, so I write and read in the blog community where there is a true sense of belonging and understanding.

My entire life I have had to maintain a level of control (illusion in itself) in order to survive. As a young teen, I was forced to grow up rather quickly and not have needs, or at least not let them be known for fear of ridicule. Enter into adulthood and marriage, more of the same. My control issues empowered me to a degree of exhaustion. Behind closed doors there was manipulative sex evolving and then diminishing along with respect for that husband. Is it any wonder I barely knew what an orgasm was let alone mind altering fucking? Letting go in this aspect was never an option and left me extremely unsatisfied.

At last divorce was on the horizon! These legs may have well been bound together, (not in a pleasurable way) never to be put to good use, so I thought. A small handful of opportunities over the course of the next three years, I was still left feeling empty. I had resolved myself to believing this truly is all there is to sex. Meh, I can take it or leave it, but was oh so frustrated. No, toys had not crossed my mind, nor found their way into my life, yet.

Life took some shitty twists and turns over the next two years. By then I had been happily divorced for five years and went on hiatus, so to speak, but by choice. Perhaps this is easier for some women than men, I don’t know, but I was determined to not think about it. I poured my attention into other positive outlets thinking I would get filled up and be just fine.

Exercise was at the top of the list. I am a young enough lady that I knew, or at least hoped in the back of my mind, that I was lying to myself about not “needing” sex and I would one day find that Man who would fuck me like He owned me. Until then, I would work on balancing my triangle. I had established a good daily regimen of exerting energy, attended my spiritual meetings and began an overall quest to change my diet. All of these things were beginning to work as the results started to show and I was feeling better from the inside out. Then one day, in walked this amazing, handsome and yes sexy Man. It’s like when you stop looking for your car keys, suddenly they just appear.

SAFE…

This

He had this staggering strength about Him, a sensual voice that just melted my mind, alluring me to want to be closer to Him, smell Him, have Him touch me. This man held every door, put my seatbelt on, ordered food for me, handled everything in ways I never knew a Man could. Of course His gentlemanly ways were in the early stages as He too was learning about being that true Alpha, but they have not disappeared either. He wasn’t necessarily comfortable to exert His blooming power over me just yet as He tested these new discovered waters. His attraction to me was apparent. Little by little, increasing over time, He added more of His natural ability to lead in His Dominant ways as I learned to slowly let go in my submissiveness.

Sexual tension overtook us both and soon we were fully involved in experimenting with each other’s bodies. Talking about experiences or lack there of from unwilling previous partners, exploration and introduction of kinks were brought out into the light. For the first time in my life I was learning what it felt like to respect a Man and in return, feel adored, loved, cared for and truly desired for more than just my body.

Each form of this lifestyle is unique and determined by every couple and the level that works for them. I am seeing the common thread between subs that our sole purpose is to serve and give full respect to our Dom in every way possible. I have drawn the conclusion that those who squawk at the mere thought of submitting to their man even in the slightest, are just uncomfortable in completely letting go. I could go on about all the benefits in doing so, from mind-blowing sex to feeling so well taken care of that I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. 

Correction and discipline are all a part of life too. Open communication of DD’s expectations of me keep those fewer these days than ever before, but remain imperative. Of course when it is incorporated into playtime, or scenes, then it becomes erotic. There is no explainable reason other than the end results lead to hours of sensual and hard-core fucking, followed by aftercare and then a long deep sleep necessary once in subspace.

THIS…

abeautifullife2:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Automatic repost…<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

So ultimately this topic does come back around to sex as it should. Having the ability to truly surrender from the depths of my soul, entrusting my DD to have complete control and the power not to destroy me, is the most satisfying state to be in. The craving and undeniable urge to simply want to do the things expected of me drive me into the best little sub I could possibly be. I float through my days with a continuous low roar, ready for my DD’s direction always in all ways. I do maintain my own responsibilities in a much more efficient way!

I feel the winces coming across the net from those females reading this and the men who are in wonder of how they too can “get” their women to alter themselves into submission. It all begins with the “man” taking control and being the leader he never was. Stop being that “nice guy” and treating your woman like she is a queen. If you lead, she will follow. If she doesn’t, push harder. Deep down she wants you to take charge of her and keep her. I have never felt more like a princess than I do now, a far cry from that queen status I maintained for so long.

subgirlygirl:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>plittzane:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>babygirlintheshadows:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>darkseconds:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>lovely-fae:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>daddys-babygirl-xo:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Hehe :3</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>And how I love when He says please. *happy wiggles*</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>So true… </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>a reblog just cuss its so hot..</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Why is his belt still on?</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>And why is he yelling? The best dominant men I’ve ever know didn’t need to yell.

MY SUBMISSION

Give Him everything He could ever want, be all He ever needs. On my knees aching to please while expecting nothing. His good little girl, He gives me everything I could possibly need.

“people throw rocks at shiny things”…

Submit willingly to Him

as we evolve

the mystery dissolves

our true course of life

though not without strife

becoming so clear

always wanting You near

an emptiness within

where should I begin

Sir fills my deepest hole

enriches my very soul

with every ounce I require

it’s Him I desire

His beautiful arms

protect me from harm

while He holds me up high

my ambitions reach the sky

Sir’s sub is learning to be

a whole complete me

outsiders see me glow

wondering how I just flow

graced by His light

my wings they take flight

sometimes a lonely place

when all I see is His lovely face

others cast stones because it shines

maybe the glimmer does blind

for they don’t understand

how I hunger for His command

private and protected

my thoughts now collected

there is so much inside

no reason to hide

how I express my inner self

my heart not to be placed upon a shelf

if vanilla is the flavor you so choose

remember I too once walked in those shoes

my path is a beautiful design

one I loyally follow and gratefully reside

control I have willingly surrendered

a sub’s rewards genuinely rendered

there are times when a push back has its trace

Sir hesitates not a moment to put me in my place

lay down the rocks you hold in your hand

forgive me but it is clear you simply don’t understand

my words would reflect that I tend to care

maybe a little I just wanted to share

don’t judge me too harshly the feminists galore

my wish for you all  is a Sir you too can adore

D and s