lskg’s checklist…

Did I give 100% of me?

 

Did I make You feel needed?
Did I make You feel wanted?
Did I make You feel desired?
Did I make You feel like You were the only Man in the world?
Did I praise You often?
Did I affirm You always?
Did I make You feel special?
Did I make You feel proud?
Did I make You feel loved?
Did I make You smile?
Did I make You laugh?
Did I make You happy?
Did I put You first before everyone and everything?
Did I show You the ultimate respect always in all ways?
Did I obey Your every word?
Did I honor Your every decision?
Did I protect Your reputation?
Did I live by Your expectations?
Did I give myself to You completely?
Did I give You total control?
Did I submit to You fully?
Did I portray myself as Your prized possession?
Did I allow You to invade my mind, heart, body and soul?
Did I display myself as a direct reflection upon You?
Did I affirm You in everything you did?
Did I stand in awe of You?
Did I worship You and Your body?
Did I take Your constructive criticism for my betterment?
Did I make mistakes?
Did I take corrections and discipline with grace?
Did I welcome Your trainings?
Did I eagerly await Your instructions?
Did I always ask permission?
Did I listen intently to You?
Did I hear Your words?
Did I follow instructions well?
Did I follow all Your protocols?
Did I respect our rituals?
Did I behave appropriately most all of the time?
Did I live intentionally for You?
Did I follow close behind You?
Did I do everything possible for You?
Did I anticipate Your needs?
Did I excitedly cook for and wait upon You?
Did I take the best care of You?
Did I disclose all to You?
Did I bear my soul to You?
Did I make Your life better?
Did I make life more enriched?
Did I make life easier?
Did I encourage You?
Did I support You and Your ways?
Did I fulfill Your every desire?
Did I participate in every way?
Did I fulfill Your every kink?
Did I satisfy You?
Did I please You?
Did I serve only You?
Did I bare this body to You only?
Did I trust You completely?
 

Do I love you unconditionally?

yes……….

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similarly different…

DEFEAT

Controlled into giving up. Head hangs low. Eyes closed tight. Shame abound. Body goes limp. Pride and ego shattered. Spiritually bankrupt. Hidden undercover from the world. Saturated in fear. Afraid to move. More to come. Stay down.  Enemy on the prowl. Worn. Momentary.

Overcome~

SUBMIT

Relinquish control. Readily available and permissible. Tolerate without resistance. Consensually suggestive. Arms stretched out. Hands open to give. Heart receives. Mind is clear. Fully trusting. Spirit enlightened. Purpose acknowledged. Promises implied then fulfilled. Unspoken surety. Honored. Protection proclaimed. Safe.

Continuity~

SURRENDER

Every inch of my body weightless. Taking in a breath, a conscious effort. Exhaling needing a reminder. Two feet on the floor, one in front of the other. Eyes forward, looking up, not down. Glancing back to see how far I’ve come. Heart beat slows just to keep up its pulse. Stumble then fall. Get back up again. Trust the process. light-headed yet clear minded. Calming as still waters. A peacefulness so foreign. Soothing like a baby’s gentle touch. Drenched in comfort. Consumed with contentment. Filled with acceptance. Not an ounce of fight within.

Redemption~

thoughts are strong, words are powerful…

Critical expressions meant to enrich me for betterment

Yet stand all alone when delivered in judgement…

 Pursuant in romance as the beginning stage fades slowly away

To cherish my gifts renders a promise not to sway…

“You made my heart sing with energy that draws me near

A look so propelling from such a beautiful woman

my words no longer clear

Too special a creature extraordinary by any form

A body by definition sensual and warm

Those eyes incredibly piercing the deepest shade of blue

Intellectual and sexy a lady all the way through

 That smile makes me tingle knowing I put it there

Breathless and provocative a treasure I’ll never share

Flirtatious sometimes teasing relentlessly so

Bringing me to my knees directionless which way to go

Offer up protection safe from any harm

Uplifting comes easy take comfort in my arm”

These simple phrases that keep me by your side

Stimulating strokes of my hair make me willing to abide

Firm strong intentions felt in Your grasp

Evoking confidence to inspire respect that will last

Gifts in kind gestures that may appear to You as trite

Unravel my heart that cries out in sheer delight

A flowering bud blossoms its petals while opening slow

Peaking in warm sunlight just beginning to grow

Soothing words offered intently with subtlety and ease

Bring over time and again my willingness to please

structure and consistency…

no matter where You are no matter how far

Your instructions are clear even when You aren’t near

this girl’s new bedtime to abide by every night

You have good reason for turning out the light

You taught me how to count the pictures in my mind

as I drift off to dreamland pleasant dreams I soon would find

grateful You care enough to take the time I need

without You it’s easy to get lost not following Your lead

surrender & submit not direct & design…

as He walks into the room good girl is uttered from His lips

as Daddy finds His little girl waiting

positioned correctly slightly swaying with her hips

she knows this will please Him but more importantly it is her privilege

to be His submissive always in training

Daddy’s little girl created in His image

there once was a time in her life not so far in the past

the thought of being controlled appalled her

to the point she would nearly gasp  

then He took her by surprise this Daddy came along

so gentle yet stern solid like a rock everlasting and strong 

surrender and submit 

she willingly let it all go 

her precious gift He gladly took to design and direct

because You chose me…

Your direction is where my day starts

it consumes my every move especially my unsure parts

comforted and safe always assuring Your little girl

protected from all things like the oyster hiding its pearl

taking pride in the way You own me i honor solely You Sir

without Whom this kitty would never even purr

Your patience and understanding found a new extent

redefining us in ways that clearly we were meant

Your power i am blessed with training and control

only this special little girl is inspired left feeling whole

Your subtle yet stern looks and codes are secretly mine

to memorize respect and obey but never to define

a direct reflection upon You Sir a mirror image of Who You are

Your little girl depicts a perfect lady to those surrounding from afar

never would i let You down or even want to fail

my highest regard is to serve and follow You down each and every trail

Your teachings are for my highest good for You to cherish and hold

to always take what is Yours my body heart and soul laden in gold

 

never hold Him back from everything He is and wants to be…

“your beautiful gift of submission” is what allows Him to be His true reality

from the depths of His soul to the kinks of His mind my submissiveness He will find

new definitions training and tools further we travel into a world of new rules

the things He will teach me together we learn exciting excursions with each turn

submit to His every exploration His desire His commands knowing where He stands

 push my limits as He protects me along the way trusting Him more with each passing day

to own me and possess every part understanding who i serve deep within my heart

never letting Him down bringing out His best shows my loyalty beyond all the rest

together we can be playful this is not a game it is a lifestyle we wish to claim

Sir brings it out of me obedient to my core i yearn for His strength as Daddy’s little whore

   out in the world His signals instruct me how to behave until we get home always His little slave

never hold Him back He will lift me high honor and adore me on that i can rely

together we unleash a new level of devotion more we will discover as He pulls back the cover

submissive2

cum out cum out wherever you are…

How could i have ever known that “yes Sir” is all that i needed or wanted to say in return to a direct order? For a lifetime i railed against authority, especially from men. i know where it stems from and at last i have been set free from those shackles by trading them in for new ones.

 

Not always visible are my restraints, but i make no mistake Who is in charge and in complete control. my full respect i offer and my submission comes with ease. I asked you a question little girl, you will answer me the first time. Yes Sir. Consequences hurt, but are necessary for training. Approaching me from behind, Daddy’s hand grabs my hair, drop what i am doing as He leads me down the hall. On the bed, now. Yes Sir. On your knees, now. Yes Sir. Good girl, you do not cum until your Daddy tells you to. Yes Sir. Happy, satisfied, pleased, now finish making my lunch baby girl. Yes Sir. 

Carry on with the day. Store number one, then two, Sir, didn’t You forget something at the last store? What’s that? Nevermind. (smirky grin) Do you want me to (correct you) right here in the store? No Sir! Answer Him the first time. Yes Sir. little girl is being a brat and she knew it. 

 to ALL things!

A chance encounter? No, a divine appointment…

As a lotus is able to emerge from muddy waters un-spoilt and pure it is considered to represent a wise and spiritually enlightened quality in a person; it is representative of somebody who carries out their tasks with little concern for any reward 

Red lotus; this is related to the heart, and the Lotus flower meaning is associated with that of love and compassion.

red lotus

God, what is it You want me to see in this moment of Your plan? How else would You have me view it? You promised me that if You brought me to it, only You will get me through it. I hold onto Your word and have never been let down, so why would I question You now?

A hedge of protection sealed my heart like a newborn baby swaddled in a blanket. Your warmth and comfort all around me as I drove up next to his truck. I hesitated not a moment, obedient to Your direction. THIS is who You have transformed me to be today. Feeling safe and secure I exited the car, walking to the entrance, my head held high, my heart You did soften, my edges so smooth. From the other side of the pain I have been weathering, I once again could see through the eyes of my heart. Praying to let my words be few, my voice soft and gentle as I walked in the door.

He stood there at the soda machine, filling his club soda, his gaze out the window he took a small sip. Reaching up I gently rubbed his back, he turned to see who as a smile formed on my lips, a soft and gentle hello emerged from my soul. Peace washed over me in that instant and I knew it was the right thing to do. 

Surprised by my sudden appearance, he reached out to give me a warm embrace. I don’t think he expected to find us in this position ever again. A little small talk to break the ice of this slightly awkward, but strangely comfortable meeting. An exchange of pleasantries, followed by a confused look that would accompany his honest statement. The assumption was that he too would be banished as I had done with my ex~husband many years before. The softened smile remained on my lips as I conveyed to him, that is not who I am today.

The truth of the matter is, I have a healing and forgiving heart now. That is a blessing that God has bestowed upon me. I do have that same compassion and kindness for the ex~husband as well. The difference is that man isn’t able to receive it for his own personal struggles.

I had to decline the offering to join him. Not that I didn’t welcome the idea, but God set the time limit as I had to pick up the baby from daycare in a few minutes. Confusion seemed to continue to wash over his face. Maybe it was more amazement of this lady standing before him with the ability to be in his presence with grace. Whatever it meant for him, it showed me just how far I have come in my faith and believe my life is divinely laid out.  

As the brief conversation carried on, a few matters of importance were revealed to me and I hope some were for him as well. Was it too soon for this encounter? How could it be when God’s timing is perfectly in order. I am still very raw and emotionally attached. Perhaps deep down wanting to engage in a dialog, which I opted to reveal, I trust in the process that is ultimately bringing forth my healing. Being aware of the slippery slopes we are both capable of sliding down is half the battle. Neither of us electing to repeat a pattern of old. 

Another warm embrace while savouring the simplicity yet somehow depths, of the words we shared, gave a sense of ease as I walked towards the door. Climbing back into the car, I gave a glimpse up to the truck that was carting the new motorcycle. For an instance I felt a twinge of sorrow knowing I was no longer a part of him. However, at that same moment I thought, was I really ever? 

Driving down the road about a quarter of a mile, my dampened cheek reminded me, this is where we are now. His words rung in my ears, “it has to be all or nothing…” Not sure exactly what to make of that other than, I felt robbed by what he meant because I was never given that opportunity. The choice was never mine to make, but instead the decision was made for me. All I knew right then and there was, I love this man and I always will…

Once more I looked up and asked my Father,

“what is it You want me to see in all of this…?”

i-will-follow-you-everywhere

“Wait and trust. When the time is right, you will know, more will be revealed…”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.