submissively struggling though obedience is abound…

Actively participating in a submissive’s own life, apart from and separate to that of its Master/Dominant/Owner. Is this even possible or desirable? Because it is absolutely necessary for us to grow. 

How long have i secretly been imposing, possibly unknowingly and complacently hiding behind The Master’s needs while placing my own responsibilities aside in order to fulfill His completely and efficiently? Did He ask or expect me to in this manner of unmitigated self sacrifice? On the contrary, He expects nothing less than perfectibility on my part for the areas that enrich and help me grow towards self sufficiency, but at the same time to make His life easier in doing so. Otherwise, i am nothing more than a doormat dormant little leach waiting for everyone else, especially The Master, to handle decisions and completely oversee to the entirety of my life. Perhaps this is protocol in other D/s, D/lg, D/bg or M/s relationships, but not ours. It is a requirement that this lg/bg/s/s (yes, we have an established variety that works well for us) attends to the nature of seeing to it that independently, i can thrive. 
Today is a day of which struggle has been a continuous measure between my fear and faith. Within the discomfort, i find strength because i know as i fumble along and take initiative, i will find the direction of my personal purpose. Whereas,
if i wait stagnant with merely good intentions, ultimately i will suffer. 
True to all healthy arrangements in a partnership of any calling, neither respect nor adoration can be obtained let alone be sustained in the absence of self love and sufficiency to some degree, one would assume. 
So again, i remind myself to; 1. ask the question 2. receive the truth 3. remove the fear
Why have i been complacent?
Because i’ve wanted to be completely available to The Master’s disposal for His every need in the moment of His orders.
Is this our arrangement?
Yes Sir of course, but not at the expense of self sabotage or failure.
Are you being successful within our established agreement?
Yes Sir, so it is i that needs to look at my own actions and fears.
Thank You Master for understanding with a gracious, loving heart.
There it is, the truth beyond measure. Activate my faith with fire in my belly. Balance will come when the process is trusted for my higher good. Believe that i am worthy to receive and all things will fall naturally in to its divine place and order. 
and this is why…
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just the thought of You…

Your skin under its fingertips
its body surrendered to Your control
let us please stay right here for just an hour or more
Time to start the day girl He firmly gives a command
sweet moans arise upon its lip
a gentle push one soft whisper yes Sir releasing from His grip
If to simply remain in this luxurious stolen moment
To experience the radiation floating over still lingers in our touch
fill it again with Your fruitful juice
satiated while worshiping You with love and gentle tenderness
Is it possible to actually feel a heart expanding with devotion
seeping from its very soul flooding with emotion
The aroma now penetrating through the heated air
consuming its thoughts wants and desire
begging Him please without saying a word pleading with its flesh on fire
You have taken it places never to have been seen
We started out as a tepid pool of lust
evolving over time into a transformation of trust

                      With every passing day it is left wanting and craving You more                        pleased and honored to be its Master’s submissive little whore

demure on the outside…

Your silent instruction with one firm motion as Your finger points to the ground, “Here slave”.  Obedient to Your command a tingling washes over knowing, or at least hoping, what was about to happen as excitement courses through to its very core 

With its cheek to the floor eyes gently closed shut assuming its position, it feels a soft caress upon its skin. This belongs to Me, doesn’t it? Yes Sir. it was made for Me, wasn’t it? Yes Sir, only You. Good girl

A quietness fills the room it can barely hear the soft sounds of jazz carried out from The Master’s office now. So focused on His sensual touch while He runs a sole finger teasingly within His wetness, pleasingly tugging at His hardware as it dreams of what’s coming next

it begins to fantasize of the new mods to come and as its mind drifts, suddenly it’s brought back to the moment with the subtle sounds of Masters clothing being shed
Suddenly the warmth of His skin is around its backside, He pulls on His toy that He placed inside hours before, removing it now for His intended pleasure
it can hardly contain itself  with its body begging to be taken. Barely above a whisper, “it loves to be fucked by You Master”
Both exhausted from the encounters of the previous night, no more words were spoken only the exciting rumblings of sheer delight in anticipation
Heat penetrating more from merely the wood stove knowing His property impeccably well, Master strategically placing His tshirt underneath it to catch the warm juices He was about to extract
“This is not giving you permission little girl” 
“no Sir, but The Master is in complete control over it”
In a beautifully orchestrated rhythm, seductive moans now are only to be heard with each deep thrust taking every inch that belongs solely and completely to Him
With its eyes barely open and body filled with fire,
the satisfied sounds invade its ears as a smile emerges from its lips
Serving its Master is what it is designed for while pleasing Him to His very soul 
A sexy content groan bellows out from the bottom of His belly with a final sigh of release and one last intensive force. The display of tension graciously easing its once firm grip, allowing lightness  in that will at last let Him fall into a wondrous slumber of peace tonight
Thank You for injecting Your delicious gift so deeply once again Sir. 
Sweet dreams Master. submissively and obediently Yours for always in all ways.
it loves You beyond words and cherishes You above this world

lskg’s checklist…

Did I give 100% of me?

 

Did I make You feel needed?
Did I make You feel wanted?
Did I make You feel desired?
Did I make You feel like You were the only Man in the world?
Did I praise You often?
Did I affirm You always?
Did I make You feel special?
Did I make You feel proud?
Did I make You feel loved?
Did I make You smile?
Did I make You laugh?
Did I make You happy?
Did I put You first before everyone and everything?
Did I show You the ultimate respect always in all ways?
Did I obey Your every word?
Did I honor Your every decision?
Did I protect Your reputation?
Did I live by Your expectations?
Did I give myself to You completely?
Did I give You total control?
Did I submit to You fully?
Did I portray myself as Your prized possession?
Did I allow You to invade my mind, heart, body and soul?
Did I display myself as a direct reflection upon You?
Did I affirm You in everything you did?
Did I stand in awe of You?
Did I worship You and Your body?
Did I take Your constructive criticism for my betterment?
Did I make mistakes?
Did I take corrections and discipline with grace?
Did I welcome Your trainings?
Did I eagerly await Your instructions?
Did I always ask permission?
Did I listen intently to You?
Did I hear Your words?
Did I follow instructions well?
Did I follow all Your protocols?
Did I respect our rituals?
Did I behave appropriately most all of the time?
Did I live intentionally for You?
Did I follow close behind You?
Did I do everything possible for You?
Did I anticipate Your needs?
Did I excitedly cook for and wait upon You?
Did I take the best care of You?
Did I disclose all to You?
Did I bear my soul to You?
Did I make Your life better?
Did I make life more enriched?
Did I make life easier?
Did I encourage You?
Did I support You and Your ways?
Did I fulfill Your every desire?
Did I participate in every way?
Did I fulfill Your every kink?
Did I satisfy You?
Did I please You?
Did I serve only You?
Did I bare this body to You only?
Did I trust You completely?
 

Do I love you unconditionally?

yes……….

this little girl’s heart of gratitude…

if i were suddenly gone…

 memory

i didn’t see her at first as she walked into the post office. i closed my box, taking my key out and turned to see her face. Immediately, tears sprang to her eyes as a sudden jolt of pain coursed through her hollow heart. Without hesitation i walked straight towards this long time friend of mine, arms open wide for her to collapse for the moment. The only words to form my lips were “i love you, i’m so sorry”.  

She was on autopilot, then repeated them back to me, “I love you too” as a gentle sob emerged from her chest. In an instant i felt her pain and agony over losing her husband in a tragic, freak accident just months earlier. This was no coincidence to see one another, because it is a very rare occurence for our paths to cross. No, God knew exactly what she needed and He made that Divine appointment in her honor, possibly mine as well. This little girl is no stranger to sudden loss.

as i write my thoughts down whether here on my personal, semi-private (from my real life) blog, or my endless journals that are found in different bags, cupboards and tables throughout my home, along with my laptop filled with word docs, i think, “if The Good Lord took me home in an instant, who would read my deepest thoughts”? Suddenly it occurred to me, my heart and soul are bared to no one in particular, but for anyone to read. my mind drifts to my three sons first. Would they embrace having the knowledge knowing their mom even better than they do now?

 

i’m reminded of the movie Bridges of Madison County and how upon her death, Merle Streep revealed her true self in her journals to her grown children at last. Her daughter was filled with delight as her son shivered at the thought of his mother having sex at all, let alone with a complete stranger to him whom she was deeply in love with. Lucky girl to have known that love. 

i’ve not drawn any conclusion as to how i feel about this “what if” scenario that has given me pause, but honestly i’m not hiding anything in the preparation of “just in case” either. Everything will remain as is. i welcome the idea of at the very least, my three sons “getting to know” their true submissive mom and her journey of life.

Having a close relationship with each of them in our own unique ways, i would never be embarrassed and certainly not ashamed of who i am. It would be my hope and heart’s deepest desire that knowing the truth and accepting that i lived very happily within my lifestyle, would make them smile. i already have the picture in my heart and mind of them sitting around the bonfire with their cigs and bottle of whatever, toasting mom and chuckling together at the real life me that they probably already suspect anyhow.

::giggle and cheers boys::

They all know i love them each to the moon and back.

Nothing else matters.

Living with no regrets, speaking the truth of what is on my heart at the moment it is placed there, is how i choose to live life today. It is far to precious a gift not to cherish every golden moment, challenge and triumph.

my contentment…a life of serving within a relationship of honesty and integrity that includes structure, respect, honor, trust, patience, adoration,  excitement, fun, erotic sex and love, formed and created out of Dominance and submission, allowing the other freedom to “just be” while naked and vulnerable, as the raw flesh we were born to be within each other’s presence.  Personally i celebrate it and have faith that so would those who are privy to my special life… 

i’ve learned the difficult way to never be afraid of those three little words that are the only reason we are even here to enjoy and embrace this earthly walk called life.  I love you, say it boldly and loudly, softly and constantly, feel it, declare it, mean it, know it, hold it, understand it’s abundance, that it covers all, because in the end, it is the only thing that anyone can ever take with them and also leave behind…

I LOVE YOU

little girl on her submissive soap box…

 Who you are outside the bedroom defines who you are in it…

Are you The Man or just another nice guy? Is she the one making all the demands? Are  you the one receiving her commands? Are you holding her accountable for her own responsibilities or are you picking up all the slack because she has dug her heels in while laughing “dance little monkey dance” when really she deserves her (little?) bottom reddened into her reality? Have you put her on a pedestal when you are the one who belongs on a podium? Do you bite your tongue as the words, “but honey, you are beautiful just the way you are” slips from your lips when what you truly want to declare is, “get your butt to the gym, there’s work to be done!” How is that serving her if you remain silent of your true wishes and desires? Afraid (cringe) that she will respond in her characteristic, boisterous, BSC voice that you so dread then retreat and she will likely withhold sex until you repent? (yuck) Backwards thinking and wrong action here fellas…

Be the leader, please do not conform. Take back what is yours and has been from the start, the power and control! What has you locked up, so stymied that you are reluctant to take charge as the Man? Fear?!?! of what? Complacency? Losing her? Finding your Manly voice? Been shamed for desires, wants and needs?  Please…

Stop giving her a false sense of security. If she hasn’t earned it, or she isn’t working towards a better her, then by all means, make her. If you ever want/hope to take her, own her and keep her, push her harder to be what you want. The Magic 8 Ball says, chances are good that she was delivered similar messages as you were her whole life. “Don’t have those thoughts. Don’t let a man run your life. Shame on you for this and that. You are the queen of the house. A happy wife makes a happy life”. Wrong. Change the tape…

Allow me to divulge in a little vulgarity from this little girl’s mouth; which comes (cums) first the cock or the pussy?  This is absolutely rhetorical as well it ought to be. Clearly the answer in my world is, His cock. As for His pussy, only when He says she can. His cock is worthy of worship and respect because my Daddy doesn’t think with His, isn’t controlled by it, but definitely knows what to do with it and that He is the Master of His domain and His little girl.

.

Not all females are willing to be a submissive or even slightly submit to their man. That’s unfortunate for them. i also realize they may be trapped in control mode further hindering their ability to release it all to Him. You, the Man need to put your big, strong hand (uh hum)over her mouth and tell her to hush, it’s handled, whatever “it” is. Then by all means, follow through. She will no doubt protest time and time again, but if you are who and what God intended you to be, (not your mama, society or your fellow nice guys) then you will continue to take charge of your life. Your manhood depends upon it. It is time to redeem yourself as such.

What prompted these words of declaration were recent conversations my Daddy and i have had on this very topic in regards to what we have been witnessing in society as a whole. Allow this girl to reiterate yet again how feminism has clearly and sadly emasculated the men of our generation. Sweep up the eggshells you’ve been walking on and pour the concrete for your new foundation. Your woman will learn to desire and crave you and wonder what is happening to her. Be consistent…

Daddy and i have both swallowed that red pill and since then have discovered the depths of our core beliefs. Our mothers, grandmothers and women of days past have fucked up our men of today.

(refer to Rollo Tomassi http://therationalmale.com/ He is brilliant)

THIS——>

(http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/08/male-dominance-beginners-guide.html)

This girl will admit, there was some trepidation and intimidation while feeling a bit threatened by Rollo’s blog, along with others in the manosphere at the introduction of them. However, it wasn’t long after that the positive transitions and transformations she witnessed in her Sir were astounding. The resistance she once had to the idea initially were diminished while the Alpha within Him was emerging at an alarming rate. 

Daddy doesn’t demand the respect of His little girl, but He has it fully. He silently requires it and ultimately deserves every ounce of it. In return, i feel His adoration and protection shining through. Because of this, our D/s DD/lg relationship was born. Certainly not without a lot of examination, reevaluation, continuous conversations, including openness and honesty of expectations. All of which has brought Daddy to a whole new, higher level of control and i to a deeper level of obedience and submission.

 Overall this has been an exciting journey to date…

random things that make this lg say, yum and hmm…

Fear has no place in our world as it can be cunning and this lg finds herself in an internal battle that she loses each and every time. Trusting that Daddy knows me better than i know myself is astounding. He listens and takes things into consideration, but i understand it is ultimately up to Him while my input is noted.

Squirms under His control, knowing full well i am secure, i endure, wanting this to escalate as the pain turns to pleasure, the wetness giving away my sin~cerity, Daddy persists, silencing my wincing, covering my mouth, kisses follow, i relax, He continues…

morning sex

The aroma of the mixed con”cock”tions from our juices left over from the evening before were potent as Daddy awoke His little girl’s senses once more in the wee hours of the morning. Gentle tugs on His now sore nipples from being well used, joined together with His big firm hands that engulf His tits while intertwining His strong legs with hers. As the intoxicating scent exhumed from beneath the covers this little girl is instantly aroused, soaked, wanting her Daddy with such desire. Daddy’s moans reveal the same as He finds His wetness yet again. “Good girl, just the way I like to find my kitty” as He begins to slide up and down, His cock hardening all over again…

Pushing this lg’s limits, Daddy satisfies His wants by taking what is His while fulfilling our fantasies as our bodies and souls connect deeper than imaginable. Moving beyond the touches of skin, erotic moans that fill the air and arousal that comes with a simple graze of His fingertips across His little girl’s body. His words accompanied with “baby” or “little girl” create an eagerness to please and serve Him always in all ways…

Training His girl in ways that used to merely spark His imagination have been brought to life. Creating an even safer place where vulnerability is embraced and caressed, this lg’s submission is becoming more intense. Daddy has added new toys to the nearly full box now. Additions to the family that Daddy had only envisioned until recently.  The reception from His girl has pleased Him beyond what His lg believes He’s ever dreamed possible. Well…

Daddy’s invasion of His little girl’s mind is a constant as is her submission to Him. His ability to continually keep control is a powerful gift bestowed upon this beauty of a Man that i am learning can be wearing on Him at times. Respectfully i share, “Daddy, in a sense i am training You as well, don’t You think? By training i mean, You are letting me do more for You than before Sir”. “Mmm hmm yes little girl, I can see that”, now all she wants is to suck her “thumb”…

Together we are learning as we evolve further into our DD/lg lifestyle. 

 

 

 

 

in so deep…

trusting You to hold gently in Your hands

knowing what it’s been through realizing where it stands

Your loving ways caress me deeply filling Your little girl’s void 

taking extra care always willing to prevent it from being destroyed

Daddy Sir, You are a rare and special entity

blessing Your girl daily with everything that is meant to be

both of us so deserving the gifts we give to one another

longing for what we share intensely craving each other

mere thoughts of you make my heart begin to pound

unraveling like a spool of thread falling to the ground 

one big mistake can cause a back up…

it is not something i ever forget

 for if i do it is the highest infraction with the largest penalty

“Daddy may i cum”? essentially a simple request each and every time

“So what happened little girl”?

They were one on top of the other

like a loose cannon, one escaped without permission

“noooo, i’m sorry Daddy…i didn’t mean to…”

“too late baby girl”

in the toy box for safe keeping until you earn it back 

massager

until then…

Daddy has allowed me opportunities and i am committed to succeeding

meanwhile this…