“Can a Christian be in a D/s relationship?”…

God's love

Personally I cannot help but wonder, why is this a controversial matter when it is a personal direction and yes, a choice, in a true D/s relationship?

If I discuss this openly in a debate forum, it may indicate I honestly care of other people’s opinions. The reality is, the choice belongs solely to my Sir. In actuality, what other people may ultimately judge, that is none of my business. Opinions are not facts, nor are they feelings. Both of which will pass like the wind and change with the times. I do however, applaud those who challenge my thinking and manage to change my mind on other matters of the heart or intellectually. These are opportunities that remind me, I am a human being with an open mind, who allows others to live and let live.

I hadn’t planned on addressing the topic between Christianity and a D/s relationship, but somehow I felt compelled to do so. As I read a few more blogs, I was thrilled when I ran across one posted on “For the love of a Submissive”, a blog that puts D/s relationships in perspective very eloquently for me.

“Dominants are not great because of their technique, but because of their passion, honor and integrity. Submissives are not great because of their obedience, but because of their love, trust and devotion“. “Dominance is an act of setting someone free, and submission is an act of willfully devoting oneself to another”.

The fact that I am in charge of my own blog, I get to share what is on my heart. Because of my Sir showing me the way and wanting the most for me, I will share my thoughts, perhaps masqueraded as an opinion. 😉

I have come to realize, upon my departure of my closest circle of friends, those women’s opinions are projections formed from their own uncomfortable feelings of my choices. This is their polite way of wrapping up judgement in a pretty little package and presenting it in a caring way.

I consider myself to be a Christian lady, a follower of Christ in a way that is conducive to me. God showed me my ways in which I was wrong and allows me to be perfectly myself in His eyes. I have been transformed into a liking that has softened my heart and gentled my soul. He has shown me of my great worth, value and love that I offer. He brought forth His Great Offering (Sir) to which I was able to receive graciously. Only through His eyes, can I see the way in which He chooses to truly bless me.


Through my walk along this path, He brightened my way. The doors that were shackled and the prisoner behind, was finally set free. In the bondage of pain I chose to hide, suffering alone I chose not to let anyone in. To my Sir, I am grateful, He saw through the charade of terror. My hesitation to surrender to His Glory and Goodness. Our friendship we did cultivate and from the ashes, beauty did remain and flourish.

At times we walked separately, when the past still haunted and shredded our hearts. Together the universe created a force that did not keep us apart. The road was long and is still not without bumps, obstacles and trials, but come to fruition it did. Cultivation is a daily process which brings such honor and respect.

Sir and I have discovered some beautiful, deep-rooted seeds within the other. The me that had been longing to be found, who willingly submits with honor, loyalty, love and devotion. Within Sir resided the true man with Dominance and Power that He exudes with passion, honor, integrity and grace. His words, when spoken, are with a strong voice that rarely needs to make a sound for him to be heard.

I trust that I have formed my opinionated thoughts on the original topic that provoked my mind and questioned my own beliefs of Christianity. I do think as a human, whom is made of flesh, my beliefs are not compromised because of our D/s relationship. We are not fulfilling a job here, but rather a way of life. Conceding to one another in such a way that we both are loved and cared for. I feel very blessed to have been led to Sir as He was to me.

I do not question the Ultimate Authority, nor the Offering He has bestowed upon us. I am reminded daily, I have but twenty-four little hours in a day in which to live and that is exactly what I intend to do. Sir blesses me in ways with many precious moments. I continue to string them together as I look up daily and give praise.



14 thoughts on ““Can a Christian be in a D/s relationship?”…

  1. From our perspective, the answer is yes. There is nothing inherently evil of sinful with the concept and we are born with our natural God given inclinations. Some are inclined to desire a dominant partner. Nothing wrong with that at all.

    The only valid argument I think could be made is “It is better to obey God rather than man.” If the Dom is demanding things that clearly violate subs moral conscience then there could be a problem.

    • Thank you for your comment BDC! Since I only speak for myself and my Sir, the first part of your response applies to me. I feel in an honoring, loving true D/s relationship, such as mine, the blogger I quoted within my post, said it purrrfectly. I would perhaps be concerned for a sub sister who’s morals were being violated against her choice. However, it took me years of my life to recognize choices as being mine. Hmmm another topic for another time. 😉

  2. Just looking at a technicality of a D/s relationship for the moment. From all I have studied about this online (as in I haven’t talked personally with anyone about this), it is my understanding that the sub is the one truly controlling the sexual activity. It is more like the Dom is being dominant within the strictures set up by the sub so as to avoid undesired mental or physical anguish to the sub. If that is true, can you accurately call such a relationship D/s when it comes to Christians. I realize the sub is still “submitting”, but, by setting conditions, is she exercising what would be the husbands authority in that situation. He certainly has the authority to give his wife the power to control such a situation if he wants and that would be biblical, but is it truly D/s. Not looking to argue with anyone on this, just putting a fine point on it that I think needs to be considered when defining D/s as opposed to true Christian submission. If my understand of D/s is correct, then can there be any such thing as “Christian D/s.” There can certainly be D/s in a Christian relationship as long as it is exercised with love, respect and consideration which defines biblical submission. I would stipulate to that. But can you then truly call it D/s? Just splitting a hair or two. Am I missing something about D/s or biblical submission with this argument?

    • Thank you Mister Userdand for your reply. I respectfully disagree, only from my standpoint and relationship, that I (sub) am in control of anything, especially the sex part. Yes, my Sir reminds me I have a voice, but it is all His choice. I am sure not all D/s relationships are the same, how could they be? The general ideas perhaps, but each tailored to the couple and their lifestyles that work for them.

      I don’t think you are setting up grounds to argue. A healthy debate perhaps? Inquiring minds that thirst for knowledge is always a good thing!! Kudos 😉

      • Thanks for understanding I wasn’t looking for a scrap but edification. I just assumed from what I kept seeing that sub control was a requisite to all D/s relationships. Not control as in choosing how the relationship was exercised, but in having the power to limit the possibility of mental or physical damage to the participants. I get the impression the sub does not want to feel like a tool for the Dom’s pleasure as much as a willing and active avenue to achieve it with a taste of being controlled.

        I am sending you a gift to enjoy in Sir’s absence. If you have never heard of Eva Cassidy you are in for a real treat.

        I am betting this will be your favorite.

        Same as above, different images.

  3. Well… from my viewpoint, the answer is yes.
    Why? Back to basics really – He Created us, as beings able to make our own choices (with free will); and yet, He wants us to submit to Him… to *choose* Him; but it’s *our* choice – He could have Created us without free will… He didn’t.
    I’m Dom – not a sadist, but Dom – and a Christian. I love my Creator and Saviour. That’s my choice.
    I share my life with my wife, who isn’t sub, or Dom, but so *incredibly* vanilla – yes, that causes issues 😎 – but she too is a Christian, who loves her Creator and Saviour. That’s *her* choice. I love her.
    We each make our own choices; and, as long as we honour *Him*, I don’t think being D/s is a problem.

    • Beautifully stated Spacerscot! You bring up a good point in the Dom world, the levels vary so, as do in the sub world, I imagine. You summed it up nicely as I was saying, the parameters are based on each personal relationship. There are no rule books for a D/s partnership, that I am aware of. The only One I would ever refer to would be found in the,
      “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth”. 😉 Thank you SIr, for your reply.

  4. Wow, I actually have not heard Ms. Eva Cassidy before. What a pretty voice she has. Thank you Mister U. for posting this for me. I love acoustic music.

    As in the picture I posted at the end “Giving Him the power to destroy and trusting Him not to” says it all. I have the highest respect for my Sir in that He is a true Leader. The direction of us is always up to Him. He leads, I follow. Old ugly female thinking used to believe sex was “controlled” by females. Sadly, I remember living that role and hating it with every fiber of my being, but didn’t know why it was or how to escape it. Years later I discovered, it was to divorce the toxic male I had married at a young age. So I did.

    Today, I find pleasure and devotion, loyalty and trust in the strongest, most beautiful Alpha Man who represents all that a true Dominant is. His words can be nonexistent yet so effective in more ways than one. In our D/s relationship, it isn’t merely about sex and it resides outside the bedroom, or whichever room Sir decides to take me in. 😉 My Sir is deserving of everything I willingly offer and he rewards me accordingly. It is a beautiful thing.

    He anticipates my needs, fills my desires (and wants) as He sees fit. When I am chilly, he covers me with a blanket. If I need extra sleep, which I always do, He tucks me in tight and closes the door while He heads down the hall to His office. Then hours or so later, awakens me to His liking, and mine as well, before bringing me coffee in bed. Sir reminds me often to “hush, things are handled”, when I try to over think things. His way of simmering me down and letting me know Who is in control. I have gratefully relinquished that. He also acknowledges my bad behavior and punishes me for it. I am aware there are consequences to be had and they are in need of correcting. I have little or nothing to fear. His only request is I tend to my stuff that is my responsibility. When He is out of town, I am to be His good girl/sub and FO that handles things in His absence. A role I respectfully take very seriously.

    So you see, there is so much more to our D/s ways that apply to us and us alone.
    I practically wrote my next post here. Didn’t mean to be so lengthy. lol

    • More than a few of my replies/comments look like posts by the time I am done. I’m just flattered you went to so much effort. Thank you for your openness and frank descriptions. Was the first No Sunshine you favorite image-wise? I actually found the color one first. When I found the second, I thought you might like to send that one to your Sir. I seemed so appropriate to your relationship.

      • I absolutely loved the black and white, first one. It is beautiful and depicts how my heart, body and soul do feel “while he’s away”. Actually, I thought about sending it to my Sir, hesitated, then opted not to. Simply because, He knows fully how I struggle during His absence. He touches base (through communication) that only He knows in ways soothe His kitten. The other reason, I don’t want to add another load to His burdens by forcing Him to hold my sadness. He already knows…

        Thank you though, Mister, for the thought. It would be a kind gesture for my Sir. 🙂

  5. Ok, I’m late in the game here, but I just found your blog. I love finding other believers in D/s relationships. I was raised in a Christian home, by loving parents, who taught and lived Biblical submission. I had great role models of marriage! My Sir and I’ve been married 11 years, together for 14. We are both saved. We just began D/s in Feb of this year, so we’re still very new and walking our own path. I absolutely have no doubt that D/s is okay with God! I’m submissive to my husband, the man I love, who else would God want me to be submissive to? It’s the way we were created, it’s there written in his Word, there are many examples in the Scriptures. Of course that’s not PC or popular, or even accepted in some circles, but then I’ve never been one to conform to social standards! Lol!

    My husband comes first, I defer to him in all things. Of course, I have opinions and thoughts, and he always listens, and takes them into consideration when making decisions, but he has the final say, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Long before implementing D/s formally, this is how we interacted. We have a circle, we feed each other, take care of each other, and our relationship thrives! And I know God approves!

    So glad to have found your blog! : )

    • I am happy you found me too! I love your response and that you can relate to where I am coming from. As I understand from my Sir, I too have a voice, and He considers my opinion of value, but the ultimate choice is always His. It all just feels right and better in this order.
      Stay tuned…I always have more to share! 😉

  6. Mynx’s Sir here…

    Such-a-girl… You are absolutely spot on. There are several ways one can approach this subject, ultimately though it is a choice. Given your free will, you have made a choice to become a woman to your man, and be the woman he needs and desires you to be. This is not sexist or malicious statement, simply, he is now doing his job taking care of you and your needs. When Mynx and I began our journey it was more about sex. Now, as we’ve moved into a mixed 24/7 relationship as a Married D/s Couple, I have found it’s about balance. If you eliminate the real highs and the real lows by maintaining consistency, there are fewer instances of VBH or Vanilla Butt Head-itis. Thanksgiving week took us both to an extreme point of VBH, which concluded by reaffirming our place with each after our guests left. We’ll go through it again during the Christmas Holiday, but I’ve built in one night of just Mynx and I right in the middle so as to help us both maintain our positions with each other.

    So yes, it can and does, and grows more widely each day- Christian D/s is actually Domestic Discipline amped up a notch. I believe God wants us to be happy. Happiness exists in several forms, your happiness cannot be exactly the same as someone else’s, and that’s what makes us all different. I think Mynx relates closely to you because your Sir and I are away from the home for extended overnight periods. I respect your position of not wanting to burden your Sir while he’s away, but if I may, I as Mynx’s Sir would want to know when she is down so that I can help lift her back up. Submission isn’t or shouldn’t be about bearing sadness alone, rather more about distributing the weight so the you can achieve that balance, eliminating, as best as possible, the highs and lows.

    You miss, have your ‘submissive head’ correctly aligned, and you are impressive with your Q&A and how your beliefs are stronger than opinions. Submission, for those of you who are, is about staying true to who you are and as you said, ‘trusting your Dom’ to help lead you to be the best submissive you can be. This supports and adds validation to his true inner Dom. And as I have seen on other blogs we mutually follow, when the sub begins topping from the bottom, or becoming dominant ( small ‘d’ ) conflict erupts because one loses the trust required for D/s to become or remain functionally correct. The same holds true for the subject at hand, trusting that you both have been led to the correct space and alignment of position with God and your household further promulgates the trust, and eliminates the anxiety found in most Christian vanilla households.

    I feel blessed and cursed to have found this lifestyle; blessed because of what it has meant for the preservation of trust within our relationship, cursed because I found it’s something you cannot convey or discuss outside of this masked blogosphere. Further, I am thankful for the outlet of the blogosphere to be able to share thoughts collectively with like minded people.

    Keep up the great contributions Such-a-girl, Mynx and I enjoy your work! 🙂

    -Tom Wolf

    • Wow! Thank you my SS Mynx’s Sir. Your words are so kind and thoughtful, not to mention encouraging. I appreciate your input more than you can know.

      I have been tackling some new things in life and haven’t written nearly as much as I would like, nor have I made time to read up on other’s blogs. Life is just funny sometimes and requires my attention in other directions. This is where my true passion lies, to write and serve others. Of course, my Sir is #1 in that area, but I am talking other ways that God has intended as my assignments to be of service.

      I am truly grateful to have found a connection with Miss Mynx! I understand the difficulties that can come with a D/s relationship. I have learned to keep it right here as well.

      Happy holidays to both you and Mynx! 🙂

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